If Our Heart Condemn Us

So over the years my heart has condemned me constantly and I would run to this verse particularly and read 1 John 3:20 which says "For if our heart condemns us, God is greater than our heart and knoweth all things."  I had thought that this verse meant, my heart that condemns me as I read the Scripture much of the time and just in general, but God is greater than my feeble heart that condemned me, meaning my heart might do so, but God does not condemn me at all and if I am condemned that it doesn't matter because God can see that I am not condemned.  But the other day when one of my brothers mentioned this verse (not even explaining it at all, he just simply quoted the verse, I don't even remember what he was talking about) my eyes were opened as to what this verse really meant!  In the past I had never been able to justify myself with it if I were to read this verse in context with those verses around it, I had to take it as a separate verse out of context.  BECAUSE, if you read it in context it says as the whole...

"My little children, let us not love in word, neither in tongue; but in deed and in truth. And hereby we know that we are of the truth, and shall assure our hearts before him. For if our heart condemn us, God is greater than our heart, and knoweth all things. Beloved, if our heart condemn us not, then have we confidence toward God.  And whatsoever we ask, we receive of him, because we keep his commandments, and do those things that are pleasing in his sight. And this is his commandment, That we should believe on the name of his Son Jesus Christ, and love one another, as he gave us commandment. And he that keepeth his commandments dwelleth in him, and he in him. And hereby we know that he abideth in us, by the Spirit which he hath given us."-1 John 3:18-24 

The understanding that I have received on this from the Lord as He has quickened it to my heart is this.  That if our heart condemns us, God who is even greater than our own heart that would seek to justify itself, knows all things, He knows our hearts so much better than we ever could know our heart.  So if we see condemnation how much more Him that sees all things sees our condemnation in full.  It follows by saying BELOVED, IF OUR HEART CONDEMN US NOT THEN WE HAVE CONFIDENCE TOWARD GOD.  If our heart is confirmed and we are washed and our conscience sprinkled and cleansed then our hearts will be assured before Him, they will not condemn us but we will have confidence because of His grace to come to Him.  If it were to mean that we might feel condemned but we are not (like I thought in the past) then beforehand it would not say if we are of the truth we shall assure our hearts before Him, (you cannot assure your heart before Him if you are condemned) as well as afterward saying if our hearts condemn us NOT then we have confidence toward God!  

If we are justified and saved and cleansed by Him then the Word will not condemn us, our hearts will not condemn us!  His Spirit will testify with ours that we are His, He will give us assurance rather than condemnation.  But if our heart condemns us, don't ignore this warning from the conscience the Lord has given you, be honest with God!  Maybe you have confessed Christ but don't hesitate to examine your heart.  If you feel condemned, this is judgment and your heart is telling you where you are really at with God.  No amount of men can uncondemn you, only God, though you can receive false assurance from men, a false peace, to let the condemnation subside for a while, but why stay where you are if this is true of you?  He has let you see this for a reason, tell Him!  Be honest with yourself, with God, don't let your pride convince you to remain as so.  Plead with Him for mercy!  Seek Him in humbleness of heart, seeking to be justified and assured before Him by the Blood of the Lamb, for justification, for mercy and grace, for assurance rather than condemnation!!  Ask Him to show you what following Christ really looks like in your heart and outside practically.  If your heart is burning reading this, take it to heart, don't take my word but bring it before Him.  Ask Him to reveal Himself to you, be honest with Him, ask Him to show you and reveal to you where your heart really is with Him.  He knows all things.  He is merciful and gracious, He dwells in heaven as well as with the brokenhearted (Psalm 34:18), with the contrite in spirit, if you come to Him He will in no wise cast you out (John 6)!  Seek Him, for Christ Jesus to give you true belief and true cleansing for your soul!  He desires for no one to perish but all to come to salvation.  He created you.  He knows you better than you could imagine knowing yourself.  

Fellowship, The Lord my Teacher Teaching His Word To me

Oh, how do I ever put into words all of the things that have been going on.  The Lord has been completely and overwhelmingly faithful to us, asking us to "GO" He has come through with provision for us, with friends and family, with so many things, showing us so much about Himself!  HE IS FAITHFUL AND GOOD.  HE IS JEHOVAH-JIREH.  Coming here I found out that a few of the girls here, dear sisters, were praying for babies!  LOL.  (There are...four? five... married couples in the body of believers here) so they were expecting one of them to become pregnant in answer to that prayer and desire, but instead He brought us in :).  We have lots of babysitters, which I did not expect, I thought before coming, I don't think that I would trust anyone really with watching my baby, but in the Lord's discernment I know that I know I can trust these precious sisters here more than almost anyone.  We are barely home these days too :) because we have great brothers and sisters in the Lord here that like to spend hours upon hours with us and seeking the Lord together.  It has been such an encouragement, exhortation and such a great fulfilling time, we are blessed beyond measure!  Exhorting each other daily for the days are evil.  The church of Arlington has been an unbelievable testimony of our Savior's love, praise the Lord He is greatly to be praised and to have mercy upon men and dwell with and in them.  In word and deed, in life I see of them this (not of their own accord but of the mercy and grace of our Lord)...  "This is my commandment, that ye love one another, as I have loved you. Greater love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends."-John 15:12,13.  "Bear ye one another's burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ."-Galatians 6:2. 

Some of what the Lord was teaching me this morning, first just reading Hebrews 11. Some things that stood out as I asked the Holy Spirit to teach me.  Enoch's testimony: that he pleased God.  Oh how I desire this to be my testimony as well. No great explanation or story of what Enoch had done but simply that he walked with God!  And he pleased God!!  But without faith it is impossible to please Him.  Abraham obeyed.  Trust and obey, there is no other way, he simply obeyed the Living God even when God asked of him HIS OWN SON!  Who in their right mind would hear of what Abraham was going to do and counsel him that this was right and he should do this, no one!  BUT GOD still asked this of him and HE OBEYED!  THEN GOD PROVIDED HIMSELF A LAMB!! :))))  He sojourned in the land of promise, as in a strange country, he looked for a city which hath foundations, whose builder and maker is God.  Oh, how I long for this City.  Sara judged Him faithful who had promised.  When we see with eyes of faith that God IS faithful we are able to obey and believe His promises.  These all died in the faith, not having received the promises, but having sent them afar off, and were persuaded of them, and embraced them, and confessed that they were strangers and pilgrims on the earth.  But now they desire a better country, that is an heavenly: wherefore God is not ashamed to be called their God: For if they were of the world God would be ashamed to be called their God, He would have no such thing for He is holy!  for He hath prepared for them a city.  He that had received the promises offered up His only begotten son, accounting that God was able to raise him up.  Total trust in God, despite what it appeared to be by sight, instead by faith!  By faith Jacob, when he was a dying blessed both the sons of Joseph, and worshiped, leaning upon the top of his staff.  This is so precious!  He WORSHIPED, not even in his strength of any sort, he did not have any confidence in the flesh, for God touched his hip and it came out of socket and he still needing his staff, God had broken him so that he may not boast in anything but the Lord.  Though he had a disability He still all the more worshiped Him who is faithful!  Moses was not afraid.  There was much to fear by sight for Moses yet he feared not, just as the Lord commanded so many times in His Word, DO NOT FEAR.  Choosing rather to suffer affliction with the people of God than to enjoy the pleasures of sin for a season.  Esteeming the reproach of Christ greater riches than the treasures of Egypt: for he had respect unto the recompense of the reward.  By faith he forsook Egypt.  Egypt is one in the same with the world, in which we are to forsake as Moses did.

Who is the One who gives faith?  God!  So it's really a memorial to all thing things that He did!  Since He is the giver of faith, we must ask Him for faith.  I believer, Lord help my unbelief we might ask of Him.  It's beautiful.

So in all of this I read, how can one be partaking in the things of the world, while walking with God, which requires forsaking all and a walk of faith, not sight, when all this world offers is seen by sight?  When Jesus was filled with the Spirit He was drove into the wilderness and there Satan tempted Him with the things of the world, in which of course our perfect Savior resisted all temptation and remained perfect.  But what was it that the enemy used to tempt Him?  The world.  Then how can we have one foot in the world and one foot in the kingdom?  God is perfect and holy, He will not accept anyone who loves the world or the things in the world, only those who are made perfect in Christ.  By grace He gives us the ability to live a life of godliness to abstain from worldly lusts, He has given us all we need in life in godliness to be pleasing to Him.  How can one love the world and the things in it, the lust of the flesh, lust of the eye, and pride of life, and at the same time love God?!  This is impossible!  

If the followers of Christ in the bible did not enjoy the pleasures of sin for a season but instead forsook Egypt, why is it that "christians" now think enjoying the pleasures of sin and eternal life can both be theirs?  Eternal life is with the Person who hates the world, who hates and cannot excuse sin!  Eternal life IS a Person!  The Lord Jesus Christ!  How can you lay hold of the world and lay hold of Jesus all at once?  You cannot!  What profit is there if you gain the whole world but lose your own soul?  (Matthew 16:24-28) This implies that gaining any of the worlds goods or worldliness is wicked, or it would not cause you to lose your own soul if you gain it!  The world is crucified unto me! (Galatians 6:14).  Be not conformed to this world! (Romans 12:2).  Love not the world, if any man love the world the love of the Father is not in him! (1 John 2:15-17)

I am learning what the Lord hates, what the Lord loves, who He truly is in His perfect holiness, how He is greatly to be feared!  How He is greatly to be adored!  He is showing me not just on paper like reading the bible as a text book but He instead of merciful enough to quicken His Word to my heart, to show me these things in the heart bringing me to surrender all things on the altar to Him for He is worthy to be praised!!!  He is a merciful God but is also just and cannot overlook sin.  (Exodus 34:5-8)  "And the LORD descended in the cloud, and stood with him there and proclaimed the NAME OF THE LORD.  And the LORD passed by before him and PROCLAIMED, THE LORD, THE LORD GOD, merciful, and gracious, longsuffering, and abundant in goodness and truth, keeping mercy thousands, forgiving iniquity and transgression and sin, and that will by no means clear the guilty; visiting the iniquity of the fathers upon the children, and open the children's children, unto the third and to the fourth generation.  And Moses made haste and bowed his head toward the earth, and worshiped."

Yes Jesus paid for all of our sins, and cleansed us from all sin, yet we cannot still remain in them, we are made new.  If we are His.  "If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness." (1 John 1:9)  "Whosoever is born of God doth not commit sin; for his seed remaineth in him: and he cannot sin, because he is born of God."  (1 John 3:9)

 

Lose Your Life To Find It

Matthew 16:24-27 "Then said Jesus unto his disciples, If any man will come after me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross, and follow me. For whosoever will save his life shall lose it: and whosoever will lose his life for my sake shall find it. For what is a man profited, if he shall gain the whole world, and lose his own soul? or what shall a man give in exchange for his soul? For the Son of man shall come in the glory of his Father with his angels; and then he shall reward every man according to his works."

What would you trade for your own soul?  A bowl of pottage like Esau in Genesis 25?  For riches like the certain ruler in Luke 18:19?  To please men instead of God in which Galatians 1:10 speaks of?  To appear righteous before man like the Pharisees?  This is in vain since Jesus warns in Matthew 5:20 that if your righteousness does not exceed Pharisees and Scribes who appear perfect before men you will not inherit the Kingdom.  For fornication?  For idolatry?  For adultery?  For abuse?  For stealing?  For covetousness?  For drinking?  For extortions?  (1 Corinthians 6)  All these things can steal the kingdom of God away from you if you so choose.

Don't be afraid of conviction!  If God convicts your soul in the Scripture, AMEN!  Don't ignore it! His Spirit is revealing to your heart something.  This is a privilege for your heart to be soft to the point of having conviction!  You cannot change your own heart, confess that.  If you see sin, confess that!  To the One who can make you clean!  Jesus has paid the price, He voluntarily went to the cross just to set you free!  To forgive you for your sins!  Matthew 4:16-17 "The people which sat in darkness saw great light; and to them which sat in the region and shadow of death light is sprung up. From that time Jesus began to preach, and to say, Repent: for the kingdom of heaven is at hand."  Repent, turn from your sin, turn your eyes to the Son.  Seek Him, plead with Him the blood He shed on the cross!  Seek deliverance. Be convicted. Be desperate!  Seek the Living Lord to reveal Himself to you!  Seek the Scriptures, read, ask God for honesty of heart, to reveal you your sin, to by grace through faith forgive you and set you free!  Only He can stir in your heart repentance and grant you such.  Only He can save!

 John 12:25 "He that loveth his life shall lose it; and he that hateth his life in this world shall keep it unto life eternal."

Matthew 10:16-22 "Behold, I send you forth as sheep in the midst of wolves: be ye therefore wise as serpents, and harmless as doves. But beware of men: for they will deliver you up to the councils, and they will scourge you in their synagogues; And ye shall be brought before governors and kings for my sake, for a testimony against them and the Gentiles. But when they deliver you up, take no thought how or what ye shall speak: for it shall be given you in that same hour what ye shall speak. For it is not ye that speak, but the Spirit of your Father which speaketh in you. And the brother shall deliver up the brother to death, and the father the child: and the children shall rise up against their parents, and cause them to be put to death. And ye shall be hated of all men for my name's sake: but he that endureth to the end shall be saved."

Matthew 10: 31-33 "Fear ye not therefore, ye are of more value than many sparrows. 
Whosoever therefore shall confess me before men, him will I confess also before my Father which is in heaven. But whosoever shall deny me before men, him will I also deny before my Father which is in heaven.

Philippians 3:3 "For we are the circumcision, which worship God in the spirit, and rejoice in Christ Jesus, and have no confidence in the flesh."

Romans 8:13 "For if ye live after the flesh, ye shall die: but if ye through the Spirit do mortify the deeds of the body, ye shall live."

Psalm 101: 3 "I will set no wicked thing before mine eyes: I hate the work of them that turn aside; it shall not cleave to me."

I realize those things that I have been blogging about lately are not easy to swallow, nor are they pleasing to the flesh.  They are opposed by many, but they are in fact what I believe the Lord has been putting on my heart to record.  They are straight out of the Bible, the Word of God, unrevised, no sugar coating, straight up what God, what Jesus says, what He calls His disciples to, what through the Spirit is more than possible.  The Spirit gives life, but the flesh brings death. I desire to write on those things that last, those things which God has made that cannot be removed.  The only things worth thinking on, that our conversation may be in heaven and not on this earth.  Setting our minds on things about, on Him, and He is a rewarder of those who diligently seek Him, He is eternal life.  

Not many preach those things that Jesus preached and still does preach in Spirit.  He is not a coward, He is not afraid, He doesn't know fear, He gives truth in boldness, He is a Great High Priest, Warrior, Prince of Peace, Mighty God, He is strength and comfort, He is bold and will boldly declare His Word through any who will receive Him in truth.  He says to lose your life, to hate your life, and that you will be hated, to set no wicked thing before your eyes. To set Him before your eyes.  What do you set before your eyes?  To have zero confidence in your flesh, but to be filled and led by His Spirit.  To know in your flesh no good thing dwells, but in the Spirit you can kill the flesh and it's deeds.  And by this you may have Life.  Why meddle in those things which are of no value, that would take your eyes off of Christ and put them on vain things that will pass away at any hour the Father chooses?  Why settle for pottage when a great feast is standing by?  Why desire to be something in this world, to desire to be well liked rather than to please the Living God?  Why have any confidence in our accomplishments, glory in our own works, putting eyes on self which is soon to be gone?  Our life is but a vapor, but He will never fade, there is no end to Him.  By losing your life to Him you will gain eternal life.  

A Burden

Jesus is beautiful. I do not deserve entrance into His throne room. He gives life and He is light. He is shedding light upon some things to my heart... 

I have been really convicted over something lately, very burdened actually.  I read the Bible and see these men and women led by God and communing with the living God.  I see how God fills them with His Spirit and has this amazing relationship with them.  I then read George Whitefields Journals and other saints accounts that have lived a few hundred years ago, I see their relationship with the Living God.  They searched, they afflicted themselves, they sought the Lord for months, even years sometimes, STILL NOT KNOWING THE LORD, when finally THE LORD revealed HIMSELF to them and delivered them in a very real way.  Salvation belongs to the LORD.  They then had a very beautiful life with Christ, He is real, He is near, He dwells within them in power. 

 You don't see salvation like this anymore, this seeking God for salvation that is.  Or even questioning and examining your own salvation, working out your own salvation with fear and trembling.  Now we read a devotional book in the morning, are inspired by a book or learn something from the bible and call this "communing with God".  Now we say a prayer and we declare someone saved.  Now a preacher says, say this prayer and by doing that you are being saved, then we assure them they are saved and if they question their salvation we say it is the enemy.  Is this the salvation of the Bible?  Should men or God confirm our salvation to us?  Shouldn't His Word be the One to confirm or condemn us?  Is it possible to receive false peace instead of alone with the Lord receiving a peace that surpasses all understanding?  I am not opposed to a prayer, I think it can happen like this, the Lord could quicken even a word to someone and they could be saved right then and there the Holy Spirit could come into that person and dwell with them.  But I see a lot of intellectual assent and much gaining of knowledge without actually KNOWING the Lord, without a heart change, without the Lord saving, coming to save, without true fruit.  Even times there is a heart change, maybe the person's whole life changed after that from outward appearance, they could have been sensitive to their conscience for the first time in their life.  And from being so their works change, they no longer live in obvious sin, but become religious instead.  Maybe they become a "good person" and become very well liked.  But religion and cognitive assent of the bible cannot save anyone no matter how sincere they are in this.      

Is God not the same God yesterday, today and forever?  Isn't He the same God the same Spirit then and today?  Why then did salvation of the Bible and from years ago look so contrary to what we call salvation today?  Do you actually see people being born again now?  I believe we do see this, but we also see a lot of false conversions.

Does being a disciple of Jesus Christ have a cost now like it did before?  Do we count the cost?  Do we please God or men?  Do we know what it is to be filled with the Holy Ghost or do we know what it is to be filled with a feeling?  The Holy Spirit is a Person, being filled with Hiim is actually having Christ indwelling a person.  Do we hate our life?  Do we want to serve Him and glorify Him or ourselves?  Do we have a burden for the lost?  Do we weep over the lost?  

Be honest before the Lord God, seek Him in truth.

2 Corinthians 13:5 "Examine yourselves, whether ye be in the faith; prove your own selves. Know ye not your own selves, how that Jesus Christ is in you, except ye be reprobates?" 

1 John 1:4-10 "And these things write we unto you, that your joy may be full. This then is the message which we have heard of him, and declare unto you, that God is light, and in him is no darkness at all. If we say that we have fellowship with him, and walk in darkness, we lie, and do not the truth:  But if we walk in the light, as he is in the light, we have fellowship one with another, and the blood of Jesus Christ his Son cleanseth us from all sin.  If we say that we have no sin, we deceive ourselves, and the truth is not in us.  If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.  If we say that we have not sinned, we make him a liar, and his word is not in us." 

Psalm 26:2 "Examine me, O LORD, and prove me; try my reins and my heart." 

Modesty

"In like manner also, that women adorn themselves in modest apparel, with shamefacedness and sobriety; not with broided hair, or gold, or pearls, or costly array; but (which becometh women professing godliness) with good works."-1 Timothy 2:9-10

"Likewise, ye wives, be in subjection to your own husbands; that, if any obey not the word, they also many without the word be won by the conversation of the wives; while they behold your chaste conversation coupled with fear.  Whose adorning let it not be that outward adorning of plaiting the hair, and of wearing of gold, or of putting on of apparel; but let it be the hidden man of the heart, in that which is not corruptible, even the ornament of a meek and quiet spirit, which is in the sight of God of great price."-1 Peter 3:1-4

"The woman shall not wear that which pertaineth unto a man, neither shall a man put on a woman's garment: for all that do so are abomination unto the LORD they God."-Deuteronomy 22:5

We are called to modesty, we are called to a standard as daughters of God.  Jesus has clearly wiped out the law for those who believe because of His grace.  He has come not to take away the law but to fulfill the law.  But this does not mean that we just ignore when God says something is an abomination.  We don't live by the law in the Old Testament, BUT looking at the law shows us more of God's heart, because the law is perfect.  God shows us those things that He hates and those things that He loves by giving us example and command in the Old Testament.  And in this He showed his heart to us.  This does not mean that we just "by grace" have no standard and do whatever we want to.  Our standard is love.  All the commands can be summed up in loving the Lord our God with all that we have and loving our neighbor.  This is our standard.  Our standard is the Word of God.  Without the Spirit though it will just be a legalistic rule or regulation that you would conform outward man to which is void.  There is no inward transformation in this.  Unless it is the Spirit in you making all things new, bringing you out of the world to stop conforming to the world but transforming you inside out by His Word it is of no value.  

Are we doing the world a favor by proclaiming Christ and dressing inappropriately?  Are we "being all things to all men" by dressing in a way to provoke jealously as well as stumble men.  I don't think so!  I think this is an excuse to be just like the world and not be held accountable in our conduct.  Is it helping anyone by accentuating different body parts with our clothing, by wearing tight things?  Or is it conforming to the world?  Now I am not saying that you need to wear prairie dresses and bonnets, though some do prefer this, which is fine.  But I am saying that there is a way in which I think Christ would be pleased and a way in which I think He is grieved when it comes to the way we dress.  What is your motive when you get dressed in the morning, believer?  Is it to draw attention to certain parts of your body, is it to draw attention to jewelry that you wear that makes you look richer or fancier, is it to make other women jealous, or to be blunt is it to get attention from men, does this make you feel better about yourself?  If it is then I can assure you this is not pleasing to God in the least.  It is grieving to His Spirit.  

There might be the argument of, well, we cannot make modest dress a standard because Timothy became circumcised to be all things to all men so we must do the same.  Yes, Timothy became circumcised when he was already righteous by faith.  BUT circumcision is something that GOD commanded in the Old Testament, this was good.  No, you do not have to be circumcised to be saved, of course not.  But it was something holy that God commanded in the past.  Circumcision is not a sin nor is it conforming to the world.  By compromising in what you wear, to compromise in modesty for the same argument to be all things to all men is wrong.  It is sin.  Timothy getting circumcised would be more equally compared to today as believers going to tell the Gospel to a people who are very overly modestly dressed, to where their whole body is covered head to toe, and in doing you wear the same kind of clothing covering you head to toe as well.  In their culture this is modesty.  So you would not go in shorts and a tank top to share the gospel with people who are used to a very high degree of modest dress, because you would offend them before you had the chance to say a word.  This is more comparable to being all things to all men I think.     

Out of conviction of the Spirit, love for my brothers and the lost, and directly out of the Scripture God has been showing me a lot about this.  About modesty.  I had come to a realization of my wickedness when it comes to dress and many other things for that matter.  I have allowed myself to be leavened, my conscience to be numbed rather than to examine these things and allow God to speak and convict.  Until now.  When it comes to this specific thing, God has shown me my sinfulness and evil heart, and I have repented with joy and am now pressing forward to be more pleasing to God in what I wear.  I have decided to follow Jesus in what I clothe myself with.  It wasn't a grudgingly unpleasant standard that He is making me live up to.  Quite the contrary.  It isn't a rule or regulation He is putting on me.  Instead I am excited that He showed me this truth and the way in which to walk.  That He is cleansing me inside and out.  I am filled with joy and more than pleased to walk in what He has shown me.  This brings me great joy.  He is faithful.  Seek Him.          

Examine Yourself

Romans 5:6 "For when we were yet without strength, in due time Christ died for the ungodly."

 Romans 5:8 "But God commendeth his love toward us, in that, while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us."

Romans 6:4 "Therefore we are buried with him by baptism into death: that like as Christ was raised up from the dead by the glory of the Father, even so we also should walk in newness of life."

 Titus 3:5 "Not by works of righteousness which we have done, but according to his mercy he saved us, by the washing of regeneration, and renewing of the Holy Ghost;"

1 Peter 1:18-20 "Forasmuch as ye know that ye were not redeemed with corruptible things, as silver and gold, from your vain conversation received by tradition from your fathers; But with the precious blood of Christ, as of a lamb without blemish and without spot: Who verily was foreordained before the foundation of the world, but was manifest in these last times for you,"

Colossians 3:1 "If ye then be risen with Christ, seek those things which are above, where Christ sitteth on the right hand of God."

Psalm 45:11 "So shall the king greatly desire thy beauty: for he is thy Lord; and worship thou him."

We can do NOTHING to receive His love.  We can never earn His favor.  Jesus Christ is perfect, the perfect sacrifice, the perfect God, the perfect Savior and Lord and King.  He is Lord and King weather or not He is Savior to you.  He has been since before the foundation of this world, He has always been with the Father, God.  You can never do enough good, since all of your good works are as filthy rags before Him.  Our hearts are wicked before Him, no good dwells in us, none.  Do you see your heart the way He sees it?  If you don't see yourself as He does (check the Scripture on what He says about us, about our heart wicked and deceitful, about our good works as filthy rags, how Jesus rebuked Pharisees who saw themselves as religious and good and righteous, when in reality Jesus says if your righteousness does not exceed theirs you will not see the kingdom of God) you have not seen God.  Ask Him to show you your heart.  

NO amount of knowledge is going to help you know Him more.  No amount of studying accomplishes anything without being born again.  You study the Scriptures because you think that in them you have salvation; this is empty and vain.  The real question is, have you been washed in the blood of Christ?  Has He changed you?  Has He come in to turn your life upside down.  If He comes in to dwell with you by the Holy Spirit your life cannot remain the same.  You cannot say a pray and presume life as you did before Him.  This is impossible.  This would mean you did not meet Him and you do not know Him.  When Christ comes, He gives a joy and peace unsurpassing.  He gives compassion, mercy, broken-heartedness for things you were hard hearted against before.  He allows you to see yourself as He sees, as a wicked evil sinner, in which He came to save.  He is not a religion.  He is not a standard to live up to.  He does not want good people, moral people.  He wants the sick, the blind, the lame, the sinners so He is redeem, so He can heal and set free, give sight and forgive and revive.  He is a Person, to know, to gnanosko, to experience.  The Spirit of God must quicken His Word to you, the Father must call you, all it takes is a word and He can save you, He saves by faith because of His grace.  But if it is knowledge and religion this is not faith, the Spirit of God has not convicted you of sin and righteousness and judgment, the Spirit has not given you a new heart, you are not born again.  Salvation belongs to the Lord, He saves.  This is not a decision of man, but a calling of God.  Seek God, the Living God, the True God.  Don't listen to what anyone says about Him, pastors, teachers, family, friends, check the spirits, examine, seek God yourself and the Bible for every form of belief that is birthed in you.        

Do you see Him, truly SEE Him with eyes of faith?  Is He precious to you?  Do you serve the true Jesus Christ of the bible?  Do you serve Jesus Christ or do you serve the world?  Do you love Jesus Christ the Son of God or do you love the things of this world?  Do you joy in Jesus or do you joy in traditions of men and celebrations of this world?  There are many anti-christs, many false prophets who have come into this world, preaching a false jesus, not Jesus, not god at all, seek God to see if you are in the faith.  This is not to be taken lightly.  Satan wants to take everyone he can to hell with him, he will not fail to stoop so low as to put on a disguise to appear as light and truth when really it is a lie.  He is the deceiver, out to kill, steal and destroy.  Do not be deceived.  Seek the true God, Creator of everything, Greater than all other powers.  He desires that all should come to know Him and none shall perish.  Seek Him in truth. 

Matthew 7:13-15 "Enter ye in at the strait gate: for wide is the gate, and broad is the way, that leadeth to destruction, and many there be which go in thereat: Because strait is the gate, and narrow is the way, which leadeth unto life, and few there be that find it. Beware of false prophets, which come to you in sheep's clothing, but inwardly they are ravening wolves."

Psalm 73:25 "Whom have I in heaven but thee? and there is none upon earth that I desire beside thee."   

Psalm 26: 2 "Examine me, O LORD, and prove me; try my reins and my heart."

2 Corinthians 13:5 "Examine yourselves, whether ye be in the faith; prove your own selves. Know ye not your own selves, how that Jesus Christ is in you, except ye be reprobates?"

We Are In Texas

We had a winter blizzard when we first began to leave New Mexico for our trip to Texas.  But as soon as we started to drive it cleared quite quickly.  Then about a half an hour later it started snowing again, and hard.  After about two hours of driving in the snow, I won't say how bad it was because mom's and best friends read this :P, haha, but anyways after two hours we could see where the storm clouds began to meet sunny skies.  We beat the storm and sped right out of it.  Then we had clear sunny skies, dry roads.  We stopped a little while after to get some food, but couldn't stop too long because the storm was coming our way still.  The winds were so hard coming at us that we thought the car was going to blow over.  We opened McDonalds door and it slammed so hard shut behind us due to the winds that we literally thought that it would blow off the hinges, and everyone in the entire place looked up at us.  Haha.  It wasn't us!  Finally we got back on the road for some killer tumbleweeds and flat land.  It is impossible to dodge these tumbleweeds, they seriously look like they are thrown right at your car.  So we took a lot of hits, which isn't a big deal, they are pretty harmless unless they get up under your car.  The winds were still extreme pretty much more than half the way, with just flat farm lands surrounding us.  Just a pretty straight, flat ride for the most part.  We stopped at a hotel about an hour from our new apartment, exhausted.  It was a Holiday Inn express but it was really nice, he upgraded us to a sweet for free he said because they had a lot of open rooms!  Sweet!  At first we couldn't get our keys to work to the hotel room, so we went back down to the front desk clerk three times haha.  Finally he just asked if he could come up to help us and he got it right open, we felt like idiots!  Oh well, we were in a nice warm room with a shower and huge bed, we didn't care.  Mom offered to pay for a hotel so that we weren't driving over night or anything.  In the morning we headed out pretty early to get to the apartment and signed on our first apartment together!! Pretty exciting, we are finally grown up, it's official!  (I hope so considering we have a baby on the way!)  Oh, Mason enjoyed the car ride, he kicked the entire way, every minute and more at some points, I think because it was the first time in his little womb-life that I was sitting still for more than a few minutes at a time, he didn't know what to do with himself, so he kicked and punched and covered the entirety of my tummy and ribs with moves.  I think he may have been doing karate in there, not sure.      

So we made it to Texas!  Woohoo!!!  After much prayer!  Thank You Lord for getting us here safely!!!  Let me list some things that I love here... I love driving here!!!  The roads are actually organized and people aren't trying to hit you every time you leave your apartment, it's wonderful!  lol (You may understand this excitement if you have driven in New Mexico but maybe not if you have lived there your whole life. Just the consensus I found there.)  Lets see, our apartment is so beautiful!!  It is one bedroom, BUT it is a lot bigger than our last one!  Also it has washer and dryer, we actually have a dining room (we didn't have one before).  Our bedroom is a lot bigger, one walk in closet (mine hehe) and then another smaller one (Jordan's) yes I am spoiled by my husband.  Our kitchen is a lot bigger, much more cupboard space, more storage in the whole aparment, and it has a fireplace :).  And our rent is 120 dollars cheaper here with not three different places to call but only electric since the water and the rest is done by our apartment.  We have been so blessed by the Lord, not expecting all of these blessings He comes up with.   

The landscape is actually much like what I am used to in Michigan.  There are lots of trees, grass, hills(not everywhere in Texas is like this, but where we are is) and the homes are exactly like in Michigan with brick and etc.  It is nice, very nice.  It is a little cool here since we are here during their "cold" months, but not compared to where I have been.  

Enough about all of that.  Our new friends are amazing(Jordan's friends that I am just meeting).  The first day we got here some of the girls went grocery shopping and brought us more than fifteen bags of groceries, stocking up the fridge, freezer and cupboards :).  I have never had anyone do this for me in my life, I was so shocked and excited!  What a blessing.  One of the brothers helped us out by picking up our mattress with his truck so we didn't have to sleep on the floor.  That night we went over to Ryan and Joy's house to sing hymns and fellowship, I am really just getting to know everyone.  The more I get to know them the more I love all of them.  They are amazing, full of the love of God and joy.  It is hard to put all of it into words I am just overwhelmed by how much of a blessing it is to be here.  And a peace that I know we are in the perfect will of God by being here, how wonderful.  I am very hopeful for how much we will learn here, how much we will grow and get to know the Lord more intimately as well as bring our baby up doing the same, in the Lord's protection.